Why did this happen? What can I do to keep this from coming back? The fear of recurrence is very real. It sort of invades your whole life down to every time I eat a piece of chocolate. Should I be eating this? I feel guilty about this. A glass of wine. Is this bad? Red meat?
Having breast cancer, stage three triple negative, makes you fearless. I really am fearless. I'll go out in that bay and paddle board anywhere by myself at six o'clock in the morning.
I used to run away from the darkness. I used to run away from the fear, and the only thing I was doing at that point was letting it grow bigger and bigger and bigger. And what I've learned is sometimes I just need to sit with it and just talk myself through it.
But I remember at that point, I thought, 'I don'twant to give fear all this power.' And that was whenyou could just feel the shift coming. And I just remember that after that, it was interesting. When Iwould feel that darkness coming, I'd say, 'Okay, but fear, you're not taking my power away.