I said, 'Really? You wouldn't be embarrassed?' She goes, 'Mom, you're not like Britney Spears who went crazy and shaved her head. You have cancer.' I said, 'Oh.' Eventually they were just like, 'Mom, who cares.' I was like, 'Oh, all right. I thought you guys would care. I was doing it for you.' For Samantha to say that to me it was like very heartwarming.
If I get invited to something or I'm doing something and I really don't want to do it, I don't anymore. So if I'm spending time with you, if you're part of my day, it's because I want it to be that way, not because I feel like it has to be.
Part of it was my fault again too because I think I made it my goal to not be that sick person and I never missed a track meet or a rehearsal. Their friends still came over. I still drove them everywhere. I still worked, I still ran, I still did pretty much everything I normally did. I don't think they knew.
I got in the car and I didn't really know where I was going. I had no plans. I drove to the beach. I shut my phone off and I just parked in Atlantic City, on a random street, and just walked a lot … I actually have a sea shell that I picked up that day that I have still and I carried it with me for every chemo. I just needed me time.
You still have bad minutes, bad hours, even bad days. You just can't live there. You can't stay there. Everyone should allow themselves ... I think people feel bad allowing themselves to have bad days. If there's a day you need to just lay in bed all day or lock yourself in your room and play your music or block everybody out it's okay but then tomorrow you can't do that.
Well, I had a haircutting party. I like to party. So I figured, If I'm going to lose my hair, I might as well have a haircutting party to kind of buffer some of the emotions of the whole thing, and if I had everybody around, then maybe it would be a little bit easier to digest, because that's a big thing, the haircutting. So I had a haircutting party.
Erika, on Mindfulness
I think for everybody the holidays are a stressful time, everyone's trying to get presents and parties and people have expectations of the holidays and I think for a lot of people, you set it up to be such a great time … it's also a very emotional time, I think, because you are reflecting on things.